Grief is the emotional response to any type of loss. While we often associate it with the death of a loved one, grief commonly surfaces after a loss of any kind—whether it is a severed relationship, a divorce, a pregnancy, a pet, or the loss of a job, financial stability, or safety after trauma. Throughout our lives, we all experience loss at some point. In fact, statistics show that 1 in 5 children will experience the death of someone close to them before 18 years of age.

Feelings of grief can be overbearing and overwhelming, affecting us mentally, emotionally, and physically. It is important to know that healing from grief is a dynamic process, and everyone copes with this emotion differently. There is no orderly process of passing through rigid stages of anger, denial, and acceptance. Everyone experiences loss uniquely based on their personality, culture, and beliefs, among many other factors.

Lessons from the Screen: Two Paths Through the Dark

Cinema has a unique way of holding up a mirror to our deepest pains. Two completely different films offer incredibly powerful, honest portrayals of how grief fractures our lives—and how we eventually put the pieces back together.

1. The Heavy Weight of Unspoken Torment: Ordinary People (1980)

In the 1980 film Ordinary People, Timothy Hutton plays Conrad Jarrett, a teenager consumed with unimaginable grief and torment following the accidental death of his older brother, Buck, in a boating accident.

The movie brilliantly explores not only Conrad's palpable sadness but his anger as well—his anger at Buck for dying, and at himself for living (survivor's guilt). Beyond Conrad’s internal struggle, the film is a powerful depiction of the differing, often conflicting ways a family grieves an unimaginable loss. Through the patient help of his therapist (played by Judd Hirsch), Conrad slowly comes to terms with his feelings and begins a painful but necessary path of healing.

2. Finding New Adventures in the Wake of Loss: Pixar’s Up (2009)

On the opposite side of the cinematic spectrum, the animated masterpiece Up shows us a different face of grief. Carl is an elderly man grieving the loss of his beloved wife, Ellie, while simultaneously facing the loss of his home. Consumed by his grief, Carl literally attaches his house to thousands of balloons and takes to the sky to fulfill a lifelong dream he and Ellie shared: moving their home to the cliff's edge at Paradise Falls.

While Carl does physically land the house at Paradise Falls, his true healing doesn't come from a location. It comes from finding a new purpose and human connection by mentoring a young wilderness explorer named Russell. By the end of the movie, Carl gets to a place where he can deeply miss Ellie while still embarking on new adventures, opening his heart to new people while keeping her memory alive. He beautifully symbolizes this transition by passing on the "Ellie badge"—a grape soda bottle cap Ellie gave him when they were kids—to Russell.

Recognizing the Symptoms of Grief

Many people don’t know what to expect when they or someone they love is grieving. Grief can leave a person feeling sad, hopeless, isolated, irritable, or entirely numb. Common symptoms include:

• Shock and disbelief: Feeling numb, having trouble believing the event actually happened, or expecting to suddenly see the person you lost.
• Sadness: Deep crying spells, or persistent feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, and loneliness.
• Guilt: Regret over things unsaid or undone, feeling responsible for the event, or shame from feeling a sense of relief after a prolonged illness or passing.
• Anger: Blaming someone for the injustice of the loss, or feeling anger at the person who left.
• Fear: Heightened anxiety, helplessness, insecurity, or experiencing panic attacks.
• Physical symptoms: Profound fatigue, nausea, rapid weight loss or gain, unexplained aches and pains, and insomnia.

Coping and Moving Forward: How Grief Counseling Can Help

An important part of healing is knowing that you are not alone. Sharing your loss can make the grieving process easier to carry.

Remember to take care of yourself: Force yourself to eat, sleep, and move your body, even when you feel too stressed or fatigued to do so. Have ultimate patience with yourself and others; giving grace to your emotional timeline is a healthy, vital part of the process.

Seek support from friends, family, your faith community, or consider joining a local bereavement support group.

When to Seek Professional Support

If feelings of grief do not ease over time, or if you are having trouble coping on your own, dedicated grief counseling can provide a safe, structured environment to work through intense emotions. Like Conrad in Ordinary People, professional intervention can help you:

• Improve your everyday coping skills.
• Reduce paralyzing feelings of blame and guilt.
• Explore, process, and honor complex, heavy emotions.

Eventually, like Carl in Up, it is entirely possible to carry the memory of those we love with us into bright, new chapters of life.