In the Parent Trap both the original 1961 film and the 1998 version are built on the premise that identical twin girls separated as infants are reunited at a summer camp where they plot to reunite their divorced parents. Yet the beginning of the movie, especially, concerns how the girls start out in conflict with each other. Fueled by misunderstanding and competition, the girls continue to escalate their conflict until it comes to a head and they are forced by the camp counselors to spend all their time together. Yet during this punishment they actually begin to talk to each other and discover that they have the potential to be friends before they eventually realize they are actually sisters. Similarly when their divorced parents finally stop fighting and start talking, they too find their way back to each other.

We all have moments of frustration whether they be associated with a friend, a family member, or a disagreement with someone else in your everyday life, but there are several positive strategies to utilize when it comes to dealing with conflict.

What qualifies as a conflict?

According to the Office of Human Resource Development at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, conflict is understood by analyzing various behaviors and the consequences each behavior produces on individuals living the dilemma.

• Avoidance: This is the person who wishes to ignore the problem and will allow it to dissipate or squander. Unfortunately, quite the contrary is happening in this situation. The problem then swells under the surface until it’s no longer avoidable and will need to be addressed.
• Standing your Ground: People who use this technique may appear controlling and aggressive in their means of communication. They fear not having their needs met if they don’t set the rules and direct the conversation.
• Surrendering: Often perceived as the diplomat, the person using this tactic concedes to the needs of others. They place the needs and opinions of others on their own because preserving the relationship(s) is the ultimate goal.   
• Compromise/Sacrifice: This method is a sort of concession and, while it seems to be a good route to take, it’s not the best approach. People in this category make a sequence of tradeoffs which means they are focusing on what they want as opposed to understanding the other’s viewpoint.  
• Collaborate: People who practice collaboration care about win-win solutions. This simply means that they scout common aspirations and needs, to where every party knows their opinions and feeling are important and are going to be heard. This style needs a lot of cooperation, assertiveness and communication among the parties.

Ultimately, understanding your wants and needs as well as your behavior patterns will establish internal insight. You will have a better understanding for not just yourself, but for others around you and how situations may or may not unfold. This knowledge will give you the preliminary tools for conflict resolution. 

(Photo by: Marlon Alves via unsplash)